1. |
hello
01:42
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hello, good morning
nice to meet you
please excuse the fact
that at the time I wrote that line
it was the evening, and
there's every chance you're hearing it
some other time of day
but that moment's passed
thank g-d for that
I'm glad it's out the way
'cos I'm going round in circles
hoping to disguise the fact
I might not be so boring
if I could just drop the act
I'm just so pleased to see you
I just can't let you see
that all my songs about feeling happy
are secretly
about misery
I didn't want today to be
the day that you found out
your every little kindness
registers to me as doubt
and we just met
it's early days to whine about my health
so I'll hide behind my anxiety
say more about yourself
'cos I'm going round in circles
hoping to disguise the fact
I might be someone interesting
if I could just learn how to act
I'm just so pleased to see you
I just can't let you see
that all my songs about feeling happy
are secretly
about misery
|
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2. |
prettier
01:54
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maybe it's true that you're prettier
but we both came in the same room
we clung to the sides, averting our eyes
and held tight
til we could go home
maybe it's true that you're different
but we're both here in the same room
both brought all our so that we'd have
the courage to stay
and someone to blame
I write to be read
but it never occurred you'd write back
so you've got sweet nothings?
that's sweet, I've got nothing
I'm blank
the opening line
is always the hardest
I'll write that one last
now I'm still where I started
we'll never meet
but just know I wrote this one for you
we'll never speak
but right now it's the best I can do
maybe it's true that you're prettier
but maybe you still doubt yourself
the same way I doubt me
is that hard to believe?
and maybe it's true that you're different
but this voice is much louder
it's coming from inside the house
I can't shut it out
and I write to be read
but it never occurred you'd write back
|
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3. |
||||
I got so tired, my fingers are numb
my eyelids they feel heavy
I leave in a week, the boxes aren't packed
don't know if I will ever be ready
it's my own fault I don't get enough sleep
there's enough hours in the day
when I get home, I just wake up again
those hours seem to just run away
so I never write
I never call
I've got too much to say
so I say nothing at all
days turn to weeks
spring turns to fall
if you left me alone
I'd forget I was here at all
the curtains are open, the streetlight's on
it's not quite half past eight
remembered the eat? the laundry's done?
still feels like it's gonna get late
the letters are posted? the bills have been paid?
all that's left to do is wait
but I can't relax when there's nothing to do
the pressure to just do something's too great
so I never write...
it's my own fault I don't get enough sleep
there's enough hours in the day
when i get home, I just wake up again
I stare down those hours and I chase them away
and so I never write.
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4. |
we live in a society
02:47
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the song remains the same
the words the ones that we sang yesterday
and nobody remembers
to check the clocks are ticking forwards
all hands moving backwards
to the things that we said yesterday
gesturing as empty
as the carcass that surrounds us
and I can't help remarking
on the most mundane inanities
I don't care for breathing
it's the loss of sense and taste
that gets me
I am two steps forward
six feet backwards
from the glass
g-d help me if it cracks
we live in a society
I didn't just wake up one morning
I just didn't wake up thinking
I just didn't think on waking
I just slept through clarity
all hearts beating backwards
on the skins that we wore yesterday
breath hanging there as heavy
as the fog that still surrounds me
and I can't help remarking
on the most mundane inanities
and I can't help embarking
on the most tedious fantasies
I don't care for sickness
it's the emptiest emotion gets me
I am two steps forward
six weeks backwards
in the past
g-d help me if it cracks
'cos I can't help remarking
|
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5. |
let's get ice cream
02:58
|
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there's a place on the shore that I joke is a front
'cos I rarely see anyone there
and they serve ice cream until gone ten o'clock
and they don't even break for the winter
I've never been anywhere else
where I've seen anyone review CCTV
and I'm fed up and tired, I don't wanna be watched
but right now that's where I wanna be
and I have been nervously checking the windows
to check on what's going on outside
you wouldn't believe how it feels to be hidden
to feel like existing is something to hide
so I wish you best, I hope you keep safe
and your family don't come to harm
and I hope that if you twitch that curtain too hard
the whole thing comes down on you
and breaks your damn arm
so maybe instead of calling the cops
you can call up your old friends
and tell them you miss them
and make plans to go get ice cream
when this whole thing is done
maybe instead of calling the cops
you can think for a second
and just fucking not
'cos we're gonna need more than police
when this whole thing is done
there's a man droning on
there's drones on the hillside
out looking for people on walks
the neighbourhood watch have been working from home
the twitchers are grounded
re-skilling as hawks
so I hope that you're keeping in touch while you're keeping your distance
keep clean, and keep well
and I hope that the ones who keep making reports
realise that more violence
will not fucking help
so maybe instead of calling the cops
you can call up your old friends
and tell them you miss them
and make plans to go get ice cream
when this whole thing is done
maybe instead of calling the cops
you can think for a second
and just fucking not
'cos we're gonna need more than police
when this whole thing is done
maybe instead of calling the cops
you can call up your neighbours
organise rent strikes
and make plans to go get ice cream
when the landlords are done
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6. |
aww beans
01:17
|
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I get my drugs from the table
in the corner of the room
when I get in in the morning
it's the first thing I'll do
if I'm really pressed for time
I might grab some on the way
more concerned with ticking boxes
than with how to start the day
and if there's nothing on the table
I can just go down the street
we've got ourselves an industry
with culture and routine
and if it starts to cause me trouble
well they might avert their eyes
'cos I'm good enough at selling
what it is they want to buy
and if I got up too late
it's 'cos I had too much last night
and if I say last night
I guess I mean the afternoon
we don't speak in pounds and ounces
we don't wanna cause a scene
there's nobody wants to talk about
the elephant in the room
I get my drugs from the table
in the corner of the room
and when I get in tomorrow
it's the first thing I'll do
and you know I'm pressed for time
I didn't catch much sleep
the small things cost a fortune
but at least
the coffee's cheap
|
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7. |
sticks 'n' stones
02:14
|
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everything is coming up
just fine for me
I'm glad you asked
since the last time that we spoke
I've found this castle's made of glass
I'm throwing stones
I'm throwing bricks
I'm throwing mud
to see what sticks
'cos every time things start to change
it seems to come out in the rain
everything was going fine
until you had to go and ask
as it happens, since you wrote
your favourite bridge has burned to ash
we're throwing sticks
we're throwing stones
we're casting lots
for who goes home
now all that's left for us to do
is walk away in dead men's shoes
everything is coming to a head
I guess it had to pass
since the last time we squared off
I've found your jaw is made of glass
I'm throwing stones
I'm throwing bricks
I'm throwing up
I'm fucking sick
of always having to pretend
class won't win out in the end
I'm throwing stones
I'm throwing bricks
I'm throwing up
I'm fucking sick
of always having to pretend
this market stall had room
for friends
|
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8. |
creation myths
02:55
|
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everybody's a comedian
the secret police
or g-d forbid both of them
we corned bentham's market
now we're on the run
driving down the prices
on the central reservation
it's cheap and abundant
it's abundantly clear
sleeping beauty drowning in the serpentine's
the only original thing
to ever happen round here
everybody's an author or saint
a curator, or priest
of some future renown
now the author's lying cold
the cops are asking questions
the saint and the priest
have been run out of town
it's cheap and abundant
it's abundantly clear
sleeping beauty drowning in the serpentine's
the only original thing
to ever happen round here
everybody's gathered
in the public square
the market's postponed
to circle the mast
bentham's in his tower
all is right with the world
they've waited too long
for the first to come last
it's cheap and abundant
it's abundantly clear
sleeping beauty drowning in the serpentine's
the only original thing
to ever happen round here
sleeping beauty drowning in the serpentine's
the only original thought
that I've had all year
|
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9. |
chickenshit
03:42
|
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I am making mountains
out of molehills in the garden
keeping watch out by the bolt holes
for the hunters who would harm them
the keepers are not keeping
to themselves
so I am keeping far away
anyone's fair game
and when we're walking home
they're flagging down the traffic
try to hold my breath and nerve
try not to make things too dramatic
but between the shopping bags
and my own baggage, I just panic
I can't fight
I'll see you back inside
'cos like gramsci said
I'm chickenshit
and when it comes to blows
I'd rather read another book
I'd rather write another poem
sorite's had it wrong
we're piling on the blame
they've got addresses
they've all got names
I've been sitting tight
waiting to plan out my next move
hope when the time seems kinda right
we'll still have something left to lose
I haven't slept too much this week
sitting up just hurts
somehow the thought of standing down
is so much fucking worse
I just wanna call in sick
today, to tell the truth
but all those coins you toss in coffee cups
won't add up to a roof
all your prayers and your intentions
won't mean shit when it comes time
to either rise up on the current
or just wash out with the tide
and I am making mountains
out of molehills in the garden
'cos like gramsci said
I'm chickenshit
|
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10. |
not today
01:11
|
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I didn't shower today
but I did get out of bed
I made a coffee, got back in
I know that isn't what you asked
the pain is real, I realise
it's still kind of pathetic
so I wrote it down and sang it
now it's beautiful and tragic
if I wake up today
and I can't get out of bed
and I can't get out tomorrow
well? what then?
I'm scared to ask
the fear is real, I realise
some day I might regret it
so I wrote it down and yelled it out
it's dangerous, romantic
I will never see me
like you see me
I'll keep wearing
my sunglasses inside
I still need to hear me
like you hear me
with my headphones on
my hat pulled down
I'll make it out
alive
|
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11. |
cartilage delenda est
02:47
|
|||
I'm not taking the bus today
I'm taking the back streets
under cover of the trees
down where roads and rivers meet
I don't want a fuss today
I just want to breathe
in between the mud and leaves
where I can hear myself think
and walking is the only thing
that comes to me more naturally
than shutting myself up inside
in spite of all that I believe
I'd rather run myself aground
or walk right out into the sea
sing CARTILAGE DELENDA EST
this skeleton's no use for knees
I'm not taking the train today
I want to see the streets
skip the cracks and crack a smile
feel the town beneath my feet
I'm pushing past the pain today
'cos I just want to be
in between the dust and dirt
where I can't hear myself speak
cry CARTILAGE DELENDA EST
this ghost has got no use for knees
I'm not taking their grief today
I'm taking back the streets
where no one knows what to believe
so no one need admit defeat
scream CARTILAGE DELENDA EST
the dead have got no use for knees
the dead have got no use for knees
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12. |
(a hundred) green lights
02:25
|
|||
if you wanna talk to me
guess I wanna talk to you
I don't mean to bore you
you can just ignore me
I just thought it might be cool
there's a hundred green lights
on any given night
how would you know mine's for you?
I know you wanna talk to me
I'm too scared to talk to you
I forgot your smile
yeah it's only been a while
but it vanished
when you left the room
there's a hundred green lights
on any given night
I could swear yours was blue
so if you wanna talk to me
I don't wanna talk to you
my charm missed a beat
now it's playing on repeat
I'm terrified of losing you
there's a hundred green lights
on any given night
none of them are shining through
none of them are shining through
|
pictureskew Edinburgh, UK
making mountains out of molehills in the garden.
anxious, gay, acoustic, punk.
emma (she/her)
from scotland.
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